Sewing machine ... how do I hate thee?

Let me count the ways.

• You will not let me thread you.
• If you do let me thread you, you will break said thread as I push up the needle.
• If the thread does not break, you will disgorge your bobbin.
• Should I be so fortunate as to get a piece of cloth into you, you will blow a fuse.
• Having replaced the fuse, you will stitch beautifully for one half of a garment and then your thread will run out.
• You will sulk ferociously while I rewind thread onto your no-longer extractable bobbin.
• You will make me go through this whole process again.
• And again.
• You are not my sewing machine.  I cannot, therefore, take a hammer to you.

Dear sewing machine, you are making my life utterly miserable.